Let your illness be your teacher
I’m so excited that I’ve been sick for the past 13 days!!! Seriously, I’m thrilled and here’s why.
I learned to slow down in more ways than one, which is something I’ve been wanting to do for sometime. If you are anything like me, you can relate to a busy life, full of lots of things you want or feel you need to do, along with a busy work schedule. At some point you begin to feel the stress of all those things on your list. Even if they are great social things. For me, being quite sick (by my standards) disarmed my busy mental activity and it’s been a blessing indeed.
I came full circle through my illness experiencing the wheel of emotions from disappointment through to joy.
How do you feel when you get sick? Most of us aren’t going to be happy about this. My initial feeling when a sore throat set in 13 days ago was denial. 5 days later, I lost my voice completely for the following 7 days which felt more than inconvenient. At first, my tendency was to keep working at my desk or on the couch plugging away. A day or so in I felt very uninterested in work and very tired. As the hours passed I began to slide into how I was feeling more and more and drifted away from my thoughts that had so much to say about what I was or wasn’t getting done. What I noticed is that I was becoming increasingly present and it was intoxicating. I was reminded how I would feel on my 7 day silent meditation retreats I’d been on in the past. I didn’t want to do anything else but savour this feeling which made me feel so alive despite the illness my body was experiencing.
Each day I did more of what I felt like doing rather than what I thought I ought to be doing. In part, I was tired and often my symptoms caused me to seek out rest for hours each day. What I gradually began to notice which was so beautiful and what I am so grateful for is the mental clarity I experienced. As I slowed down I was surrendering to being sick and as acceptance dominated, presence became abundant.
I first learned what presence meant through my experience of it, when I read and practiced The Power of Now ~ Eckhart Tolle in India 2004. That book turned my world upside down. Truly.
The more present I felt, the happier, more fulfilled and grateful I became. I couldn’t help but realize more deeply that how I look at anything I am experiencing is a choice. If I’m sick or have a serious dis-ease or encounter what I’d view as a major disruption to my moment; I can view it as a curse or a blessing. As Eckhart says: ” everything always already is as it is, the is-ness you cannot change.” This doesn’t mean it has to be good or bad. You will however choose one of two feelings though because every emotion has an opposite.
Anger/compassion anxiety/equanimity fear/wisdom sorrow/courage etc. The emotion that you consciously choose to experience regardless of your circumstance will shift your moments. When you choose to a better feeling emotion you are also choosing to feel better. Now you begin to realize that you are not the illness but the awareness of it. Now anything is possible and this discovery is truly life altering.
You’re illness has something to teach you that could really change your life, look for the gift, there will always be one.
Presence will teach you everything you want to know, it will fulfill you and delight you.
Thanks for reading. Please feel free to leave your comments below,
Lara