Which would you prefer?

I was speaking with a close friend recently who was sharing about some emotional and mental challanges she was experiencing with her sibling.  She said to me “I just want everything to be easy and to feel good all the time in our relationship, I don’t want the other shit (the hard times)”.

While I have known this friend for some time now,  I have certainly heard her speak this way before about her life and challenges she encounters, she’s sensitive and finds conflict hard to manoeuvre through.

Here’s what came to mind for me this morning after seeing my friend. I hear this same response from her every time she has an emotional encounter with someone close to her. While she would obviously prefer not to turn towards challenges that come her way, it is to the detriment of her growth as a human being if she does not.  We all know they will continue to come.  The part to get here is that struggles will get easier when you do the work, when you turn towards them, get involved and learn what they came to teach you. The way I see it, we all have 2 choices when it comes to emotional/mental challenges, either our eyes, arms and hearts are wide open or wide shut.  So we can walk through life’s challenges and still come through them having learned NOTHING or we can look back at them with a happy heart, some wisdom and certainly much more inner strength, having learned something.

I believe in waking up to what this life experience is about, I believe we all have options and the choice to choose ‘how’ we view our every experience.  The catch here is that until we can see we have a choice, we will walk through this life like we don’t, as a victim.  I honestly struggle with how to say to my friend,” you have the power to decide how you experience your life, whether or not you want to learn, grow and make it a happier life.” I realize ‘pointing’ out her way of ‘dealing’ with her tough times will not be helpful, nor it is my place to do so.  Perhaps what would be best would be to encourage her that there is another way, a better way, maybe those words alone will inspire her heart and mind towards a new direction that in the end will lead to gratitude for all past pain and challenges.