This is a hard topic to broach. However it’s been lingering with me since the recent full moon which was about ‘old stuff resurfacing’ so it felt best to let it out.
Do you have people in our life who are not really transparent with you? You may have shared with them how you feel and they deny it, or simply do not respond? Or do you ever think about someone you used to be close with and feel anger or sadness arise right away at the very thought of them? If you have experienced any of these situations, please read on.
Today I really got thinking about these people and situations I’ve had in my life.
One friend in particular stood out for me. Our last contact was me sending her a very kind and loving message about our sudden lack of communication from which I received no reply. There’s a saying that says “no reply is also a reply” and I guess that’s obvious, however it’s not friendly, it’s not kind and it’s not closure. Some people seem to need closure and some don’t. My belief is that when you let out how you feel, the energy has somewhere to go. If you don’t let the energy flow, it becomes a block in your body that over time becomes dis-ease. Which, over time can lead to illness or disease. Everything is energy, every thought, feeling, action, everything. If it’s not moving, it’s staying put. Which would you prefer?
When we are unable reach and communicate with people for whatever reason, it can be very challenging for one or both parties. Since my work surrounds helping people clear mental, emotional and physical pain out of their bodies, I am a huge fan of communication. When we do not express how we feel those unsaid words take up residence somewhere in our body. Over time that energy will grow and fester each time we think of this person or situaton. We may even want to blame this person for how we feel and that is something else to deal with. The truth is, that how we feel is our choice, no matter what anyone says or does, it’s up to us how we choose to feel about it. Looking after our own health and wellbeing is our responsibility. Why someone chooses to not to respond or speak to us it is really about them not about us. It is a choice they’re making. Realizing this truth is very freeing.
So what do you do? How do you release this pent up energy that is eating away at you?
While I have done a number of practices surrounding forgiveness and letting go, I’d like to share a new one a friend of mine Sarah Renee told me about recently. It’s simple and it works.
Go for a walk alone. Set the intention to find a rock that you will pick up and carry for the duration of your walk. This rock’s purpose will be to absorb all feelings and thoughts you have about this person or situation you are wanting to heal (remember everything is energy, including this rock you hold in your hand). You will also say to this rock (silently or out loud) anything that you want to say to this person. Keep walking until you feel complete. Allow yourself to think of other things along the walk, don’t rush or pressure yourself. When you feel complete, consider that you may never see this person again and say any final good wishes you’d like them to know. Toss the rock into the ocean or leave it at the top of the mountain you just climbed, or wherever feels right and best for you.
Keep this in mind. Some people you want to talk with may not want to. They may not know how to. They may be carrying so much pain that is buried so deep they don’t know it’s there. Some people just need to act like everything is great and like nothing ever happened because the thought of sharing how they feel is terrifying to them. Some people you know may be narcissistic which is very tough because these people are so extremely selfish that everyone in their eyes is always wrong. I have found speaking to such people almost impossible; as a very good therapist once told me “they are just never going to get it”. Again, experiential understanding will give you the strength to move on.
Many people have the belief that if something happened years ago, why bring it up now? Good point. If it’s important to someone to let something off their chest, it can be very healing and freeing for them, that’s why. The book: The Top Five REGRETS of the Dying, Bronnie Ware.
is exactly about what I’m discussing here. We don’t need to like or understand why someone may need to express something from the past, but some need to. If you need to talk to someone do your best to say how you feel, what you most need to say, without pointing the finger, blaming or judging. Lastly, sit quietly with yourself before you venture to speak or reach out to someone. Ask yourself what will be the best step to take that will benefit all involved? Listen and then act. Thanks for reading, please share this post with anyone you feel may benefit and feel free to leave your comments below. Thanks! Lara