After sharing with a friend recently about a deep concern I have about a long time friend, they asked me “would you be willing to ask them to no longer share that part of their life with you”? A good and timely question. I’ve been considering choice conversations with people lately and through my studies and own experiences decided that no, I would not ask someone to leave out what I view a detrimental and negative phrase about a part of their life they often bring up during our talks. I feel this to be a wise choice for both of us. I came to this conclusion after recalling previous chats where I felt I had done my best to convey the message that ‘every time we think and speak we create’, so I had said to this friend, if you don’t want to experience what you are and have for over 40 years now, you may want to put that story down. Their first response has always been “I know that”, 3 of the most dangerous words we can speak, according to many spiritual teachers. If we ‘knew it’ we would no longer do it, whatever ‘it’ is, period. When we change what we say and think, the energy releases and our lives shift.
What I have come to learn is that when we are unconscious about a behaviour we have, we are asleep to it’s presence in our life, we continue to run around in a circle that leads to more of the same, like a dog running after his own tail. Unconsciousness in my view, speaks to unawareness of what is unfolding in our experience. I feel that in order to make true change, we need to first be aware of how powerful what we say and think is, we must see examples in our own life and first believe this to be true before we can take action. What I have decided is best for me to do when I hear these words again from this friend is to simply be quiet, no response, this can often drop the energetic charge of the conversation and the person may realize/hear what they are saying or maybe they won’t, but at least I will not be supporting them in their negativity towards themselves thereby encouraging their story. Also, it’s very draining on our own energy to continue to take on someone else’ stuff, after all, it’s their stuff. Only if they ask me for a solution or my opinion will I give support and again say, “every time you think and speak you create”.